NEW!! Playing Away by Grant Aitken: 2020

"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona

With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. In our latest article, Grant Aitken explains why he would desert Muang Thong Utd for Buriram Utd.

If Muangthong win it’s because we bribed the referee, if we lose then it’s karma because we bribe referees. After a few seasons of having your team’s accomplishments boiled down to nothing more than a cheap swindle you develop somewhat of a siege mentality, and there’s only one other club where that can be replicated…I just hope Kuruna can manage to put that megaphone down long enough to welcome me with open arms.

Buriram United, a fellow (temporary) fallen giant, but things have much changed between these two fierce rivals. These days we share head coaches and our Isaan brethren have even let us win our fair share of encounters between the sides in recent seasons (hospitality ranks high on my list of qualities for perspective clubs). They have more than enough stars above their badge to command respect and there’s a couple of young siblings within the camp that would be more than worth the admission fee to watch play each week. 

Although I’d be loathsome to make the commute from Nonthuburi to Buriram, I’m reliably informed that fans at the Thunder Castle have all expenses paid. Away trips include travel, accommodation and food, all generously paid for by the tax payers of the province. Plus, at home games, free match day tickets are thrown around like confetti to boost attendances. This is provided you wear the team’s colours, which I currently don’t yet own. However, the club owner literally owns no other items of clothing than the sportswear produced by the club, so I’m sure he’ll be happy to lend me a shirt. Although he is a little larger than me, so I’ll have to grow into it. Maybe one too many cases of the midnight munchies… 

Speaking of green, the pitch at their stadium is an absolute beauty and would not look out of place in any of Europe’s major leagues. A little known fact about the Chang Arena is that LEGO generously denoted over 3,000 novelty sized bricks for the completion of the exterior. LEGO was ingeniously chosen because it is a portable product, so when the local government realized the stadium and training facilities had actually been built on community owned land, relocation could be easily achieved if required. 

The timing is actually impeccable. If I switch allegiances now I can reserve my place for the New Year’s party. Grown men (and Supanat) paraded around in G-Strings for comical relief is not exactly my cup of tea, but it gets people out of the house, right? It’s always nice interacting with humble and down to earth players. Being based Buriram will probably ensure I’d cross paths with them on several occasions given the plethora of activities there is to do in the area. We may bump into each other at the Moto GP, the dirt bike track, a trash burning event or even the motorcycle racing. 

The local fans are of course warm and welcoming, and families make up the majority of the fan base, so I would appreciate the familiarity of that aspect. It’s taken me several years to learn just a handful of Muangthong chants in my non-native language, so it’s handy that Buriram have just the one song…now, is it slowly groan “Buuuurrreeeraaaaam” on the ever 2nd drum beat or the 3rd?   

NEW!! Playing Away by Stephen Romary: 2020

"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona

With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. Stephen Romary explains why he would desert Muang Thong Utd for their cross town rivals.

MAKE PORT FC GREAT AGAIN BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME!

When asked which club I’d swing my allegiance, the answer is obvious. Obvious, that is, once I also accept flying pigs, a round earth, and Donald Trump as president (again).  So yes, once I agree the sun does indeed rise in the west, the choice becomes clear.

Afterall, it’s easy being a fan when your club has four league championships to its name. A club with champion’s league experience. A club with a fully formed youth academy.  A club with multiple media feeds broadcasting news and details. A club with a vision and a plan.  A club with lights that work.

Where’s the challenge in that?

Instead, time to consider the exact opposite of success.  A club so dysfunctional it makes Donald Trump look like Mahatma Gandhi.  A club where Gucci bags and glamour rubs shoulders with, on average, two head coaches per season. A club with stadium seats where you can’t see the pitch, even if the lights do manage to stay on.  A club where ticketing details are locked in an underground bunker to which there is no key.  A club that’s never managed to win the league.  

With Port FC there’s nowhere to go but up. It’s like buying stock in Apple when Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were friends.  Some consolation can be taken that several of my former club’s stars have switched to the ‘Stadium Of No Light’. Perhaps the greatness dust they carry will infuse its way into the turf.  With Charyl, Heberty, Adison, Adisak, and more, in the blue and red, I feel I’m watching my old team. So that helps.

Plus, who can forget the important role played in bringing about VAR this season!   Fans can be eternally grateful to Port FC for helping to add flow and excitement to the game.  Now, when someone scores, we all sit calmly for the long wait until we see that glorious message DECISION GOAL and the referee points at the centre spot. Such joy!

Yes, it’s obvious, Port FC is the future. A future that includes flying pigs and Donald Trump in the Whitehouse, again.  Anything’s possible.

NEW!! Playing Away by Robert Scott: 2020

"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona

With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. Today, Robert Scott explains who he would leave Chiang Mai FC for.

Name: Robert Scott

Current team: Chiang Mai FC

Could I support another Thai team thereby committing the equivalent of sporting adultery?

After all we are talking about Chiang Mai FC. A team that has had multiple parents, all have whom have quickly deserted their problem child. The jury is still out on BG’s ambitions for the club. A club that has remarkable fan loyalty given the club’s own lack of ambition and their failure to engage with supporters. 

So, first things first – I would have to leave Chiang Mai. Leaving Chiang Mai would be difficult but ask me again between February and April when the air quality gets into lung-destroying numbers and I might have a different view.

I cannot be a long-distance or tv supporter – I want to be in the stadium at least thirty minutes before kick-off; team sheets and notepad in hand. Anorak nearby! I want to be there at the end for the post game rituals. I dream of a seat in the press box.

So where to go and who to support? Two decisions that really do go hand in hand. The only way to do this may be by process of elimination.

Sorry - no Bangkok based clubs. I simply do not want to live there again. 

No clubs with wealthy benefactors but stuck in the middle of nowhere. No Buriram.

No club that has taken advantage of the goodwill of Chiang Mai supporters in the past or used our club to further their own ambitions. That rules out Chiang Rai.

Ideally no stadium with a running track and jumping pits outside the football pitch. A little unreasonable given that both the 700th Anniversary and the municipal stadiums in Chiang Mai both have running tracks. Though at least the stands at the Municipal Stadium are a little nearer to the action – unless you are an away supporter – and if you are then I can only apologise. Every fan I know is ashamed of how we treat our guests.

A club by the sea would be very welcome – I have always wanted to live by the sea. Which makes Chiang Mai an unlikely choice other than to say it is at a safe distance from my mother-in-law!

Ranong is a non-starter for reasons my friends will fully understand. Nice town. Loathsome football club.

Starting in League 1. Chonburi and Rayong both feel too much like an extension of Bangkok. Ratchaburi – I loved the stadium. The fans were welcoming. I just cannot imagine living there. Suphan Buri – same problem.

Which leaves just four possible League One teams – Sukhothai, Trat, PT Prachuap and Nakhon Ratchasima. Trat seems to far from anywhere – except Cambodia. Then there were three. Since I know nothing about Nakhon Ratchasima that leaves Sukhothai and PT Prachuap. Prachuap is the little town that could – in football terms battling well above its weight. But I think I would prefer to visit rather than live there. Which leaves Sukhothai which appeals to the long-forgotten historian in me. They have a proper football stadium but are currently coached by someone I cannot forgive for being complicit in ensuring CMFC were relegated last season. 

As for the Championship if you enjoy living in Issan then there are plenty of options. Udon Thani are ruled out for being Muangthong’s B team. Khon Kaen ruled out for being another BG team. Which then rules out ground-sharing Khon Kaen United. Sisaket is also too far from anywhere else. Phrae is a lovely little town with a football stadium too remote to belong to the city. Others are too close to Bangkok. How about Lampang? Given the uncertainty at the end of last season over whether the club would move to Songkhla that would seem a very short-term bet. Which leaves Chiang Mai United. I am very fond of some of the people there. I hope they get promoted to League 1. I hope they return to the 700th anniversary stadium. But, for me, they will always be the other Chiang Mai club!  

Which leaves Nongbua Pitchaya. Ambitious; financed; unbeaten. But where?

So into the Regional 3rd divisions.  The answer is Nan. A lovely city and a team with a name that I can spell. Regular flights to Bangkok. An easy drive to Chiang Rai and not so distant from Chiang Mai. But still no beach!

That’s settled then – just don’t tell Tai.

NEW!! Playing Away by Jamie Pinder: 2020

"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona

With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. Here, Jamie Pinder explains who he would leave his favourites for . . . or not

Name: Jamie Pinder

Current team: Buriram Utd

It's supposed to be an unwritten rule of being a fan; you can't just change your team because you want a better one, so I'm trying to think of a scenario where I'd change. It could be one of two things. Firstly, I get in a row with the owners at Buriram United and get banned for life, so I need to go elsewhere for my weekly fix or, my team goes bust and doesn't exist anymore. The first one is more likely but there could be a third scenario where I exchange my wife for a different model and relocate to somewhere such as Udon or Lampang, just for example. 

Changing allegiance in Thailand would be easier than in the UK and, under certain circumstances, if could happen, so I'm looking at where I could live and linking that to their football team. Udon would certainly work, with the team currently in mid-table, Division 2, but their kit is really, really orange and I'm not sure I could do that.

Lampang are also in the second tier, in fact one place below Udon, with a bright green kit! Now I'm now saying that you should follow a team just because of their kit but .... the reason I chose to follow The Arsenal was based largely on the lovely yellow kit they wore in the 1971 FA Cup Final. 

Nope, the only way I'm going to change is by upsetting the owners and getting asked to leave so I'd probably leave Buriram and relocate and find a new wife and a team with a likeable color kit and an airport and nightlife and............ sod it.....I'm staying where I am. I've got just about everything here, It would be too expensive to change all my matching shoes. (But I do like going out in Udon.)

NEW!! Playing Away by Russ John: 2020

"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona

With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. Here, Russ John explains who he would leave his favourites for:

Name: Russ John

Current team: Nakorn Ratchasima

Well it's that time to trade in the old girl for a newer model, one’s current love is losing that sheen and some young whippersnapper down the road is blooming.

Nongbua Pitchaya FC - it slips nicely off the tongue doesn't it - where the f*#* is Nongbua anyway!! I’ve always had a sneaky regard for Nongbua. Ever the northern tiddlers who come to the 80th Anniversary every preseason for a regular dicking by their elder, bigger and better Isaan big brothers.

The former “Electric Eels” (no, I can’t believe it either!!) have somehow slithered their way to the top of tier two and could be favourites to replace my former love at the top table. I  have always yearned for a side from Udon to force their way into the TPL but as this seems unlikely at the moment, it looks like Nongbua will have to do!

The reasons for the transition from fuddyduddy Swatcats to the new birds on the block are many fold. For  a start they look like Chrystal Palace, the blue and red combo is one of my favourite strips. Their recent stadium development including a sparkling new main stand and the fact that they must be one of the favourites for a promotion to the TPL are further reasons for the switch of my allegiance.

Despite the fact that these North Isaan tiddlers will be massive underdogs next season, the final and most significant reason for my switch must be divulged ………. I just want to scream loud and hard from the terraces, “COME ON YOU GAMECOCKS!!”

NEW!! Playing Away by Phil Williams: 2020

"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona

With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. Here, Phil Williams explains who he would leave his beloved Samut Prakarn City for:

Name: Phil Williams

Current team: Samut Prakarn City

Honestly, how could I even think about picking another T1 club to follow when I've invested so much emotion in following Samut Prakan City and invested so much money in buying home and away shirts? (some I don't even wear) But Dale has put a gun to my head and told me I have to choose one. 

Hmmm...decisions, decisions. Let's see. Geographically, the obvious choice would be Port but if I'm going to become a regular down at Klong Toey then Dale would have to get a bigger gun- a much bigger one! Port never feels like a club that needs another foreign supporter, particularly one who can't hold his beer and doesn't much like making small talk with other farangs (even though they've done nothing to him). 

BG Pathum have got a nice stadium and I might enjoy attending home matches, but on a recent visit, their supporters felt a bit too hi-so. Not one supporter asked for a selfie or even offered a cheery hello for that matter. Would I ever be accepted if I wasn't willing to put a stick up me arse?  

I'm not going to support a club with a great big running track either, which rules out Bangkok United and the nearby Suphanburi (even though I love the town itself) Chonburi's a possibility I guess, not too far from Bangkok and something of a sleeping giant but the city itself never excites me and there's only so many photos I could stand to have taken with the shark. 

If I was going to follow a club purely for the totty, then it would be Buriram hands down. Whenever I watch a Buriram game on TV and the camera pans on faces in the crowd, I fall in love a dozen times. And that's even before the bloody match has kicked off. No, me and Buriram just wouldn't work. I'd spend too much time creepily smiling at all the young ladies sitting around me and you can't get away with that when you're 56. And of course, I'd be accused of being a glory hunter but supporting Manchester United, I've had that all my f***ing life anyway.   

Outside of Samut Prakan, my two favourite players are Ibson Melo and John Baggio, so Sukhothai would certainly be a contender. But home games would mean getting a flight to Phitsanaloke and then making the one-hour journey to Sukhothai. So what would be my travel options? I put the same question to the woman at the Phitsanaloke tourist office just a few weeks ago in fact, and she didn't have a clue either. Can you see what I'd be up against?

I could always join up with my new mate 'Wolverhampton Russ', buy an orange replica shirt, and keep him company at Khorat home games. But I fear once the final whistle went and we'd got over the disappointment of another defeat, he'd be leading me astray with those fateful words 'fancy a quick beer?' And we'd be stumbling out of the worst nightclub in the whole of the north-east just as the sun's coming up. I'm not falling for that one.

No, my mind's made up; It's Police Tero. Not all that far to travel, not many foreign supporters and a mid-table side that are probably too good to get relegated (similar to another team I know) Plus, if you ever get into trouble in Thailand, it's always good to know a policeman.