"You can change your partner, your religion, your politics, but never never can you change your football team." Eric Cantona
With this in mind, I asked a group of Thai football fans who they would choose should they ever consider the unthinkable. Here, Phil Williams explains who he would leave his beloved Samut Prakarn City for:
Name: Phil Williams
Current team: Samut Prakarn City
Honestly, how could I even think about picking another T1 club to follow when I've invested so much emotion in following Samut Prakan City and invested so much money in buying home and away shirts? (some I don't even wear) But Dale has put a gun to my head and told me I have to choose one.
Hmmm...decisions, decisions. Let's see. Geographically, the obvious choice would be Port but if I'm going to become a regular down at Klong Toey then Dale would have to get a bigger gun- a much bigger one! Port never feels like a club that needs another foreign supporter, particularly one who can't hold his beer and doesn't much like making small talk with other farangs (even though they've done nothing to him).
BG Pathum have got a nice stadium and I might enjoy attending home matches, but on a recent visit, their supporters felt a bit too hi-so. Not one supporter asked for a selfie or even offered a cheery hello for that matter. Would I ever be accepted if I wasn't willing to put a stick up me arse?
I'm not going to support a club with a great big running track either, which rules out Bangkok United and the nearby Suphanburi (even though I love the town itself) Chonburi's a possibility I guess, not too far from Bangkok and something of a sleeping giant but the city itself never excites me and there's only so many photos I could stand to have taken with the shark.
If I was going to follow a club purely for the totty, then it would be Buriram hands down. Whenever I watch a Buriram game on TV and the camera pans on faces in the crowd, I fall in love a dozen times. And that's even before the bloody match has kicked off. No, me and Buriram just wouldn't work. I'd spend too much time creepily smiling at all the young ladies sitting around me and you can't get away with that when you're 56. And of course, I'd be accused of being a glory hunter but supporting Manchester United, I've had that all my f***ing life anyway.
Outside of Samut Prakan, my two favourite players are Ibson Melo and John Baggio, so Sukhothai would certainly be a contender. But home games would mean getting a flight to Phitsanaloke and then making the one-hour journey to Sukhothai. So what would be my travel options? I put the same question to the woman at the Phitsanaloke tourist office just a few weeks ago in fact, and she didn't have a clue either. Can you see what I'd be up against?
I could always join up with my new mate 'Wolverhampton Russ', buy an orange replica shirt, and keep him company at Khorat home games. But I fear once the final whistle went and we'd got over the disappointment of another defeat, he'd be leading me astray with those fateful words 'fancy a quick beer?' And we'd be stumbling out of the worst nightclub in the whole of the north-east just as the sun's coming up. I'm not falling for that one.
No, my mind's made up; It's Police Tero. Not all that far to travel, not many foreign supporters and a mid-table side that are probably too good to get relegated (similar to another team I know) Plus, if you ever get into trouble in Thailand, it's always good to know a policeman.
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