Muang Thong Utd Museum: 2013

In early 2013, Muang Thong Utd announced that they would be opening a museum at their Thunderdome Stadium. Here are nine items that I suggested should be displayed:

1. Mario Gjurovski's Shorts
The Macedonian earned himself a red card, when he removed his shorts and put them on his head, in a somewhat contrived goal celebration against ToT earlier this season. These shorts will now be the first thing you see as you walk through the entrance to the Muang Thong Utd Museum. The red card is in a case next to them.

2. A Bronze Statue Of Robbie Fowler
So convinced were the Muang Thong Utd board that the property owning Scally would lead the club to unprecedented success, they commissioned a statue in his honour. Sadly for all concerned, the Toxteh Terror bombed at the Thunderdome and the expensive bronze effigy was mothballed...until now.

3. The Original "Welcome To Hell" Banner
In an attempt to intimidate visiting fans, the Muang Thong Utd Ultras display a "Welcome to Hell" banner behind one of the goals. However, as we all know, a trip to the SCG Stadium is about as scary as an episode of Last of the Summer Wine. Therefore, the aforementioned flag - complete with skull and crossbones - will now be hung in the museum's Grand Hall and a replacement, reading "Welcome to All" will be unfurled inside the ground on match days.

4. A Muang Thong Utd 2010 FA Cup Winners Souvenir T-Shirt
Muang Thong Utd were so confident that they would win the 2010 FA Cup final, they had 5,000 commemerative t-shirts made up. Unfortunately, Chonburi hadn't read the script and triumphed 2-1 on the day. All 5,000 were thought to have been destroyed. But one was recently uncovered in the boot of Ravi Lohtong's Jag. He had been using it to wrap his bowling shoes in.

5. A Ticket Stub From The Away End: SriRacha v Muang Thong Utd, 2008
It is a well known fact that Muang Thong Utd took no travelling fans to the top of the table Division One clash against SriRacha in 2008. Not a one. However, during a recent house clearance, an eagle eyed workman spotted a ticket stub wedged under a wardrobe. It turned out to be a stub for the away end from that very game. No-one can explain how it got there and so far, no-one has come forward to claim ownership of this extremely rare item.

6. Robert Procureur's FAT Disciplinary Charge Sheets
Never one to shy away from letting his feelings be known, the eccentric Belgian has often found himself in trouble with the Thai football authorities. The museum has collected together all his charge sheets (would it be fair to call them Rap Sheets?) to create a dizzying display of petulant behaviour. Charges include "Water Bottle Kicking", "Dummy Spitting", "Mincing About In An Undignified Manner" and "Being A Silly Boy".

7. Winfried Schaefer's Contract 
The former Thailand national team coach signed a contract to manage the Twin Qilins, after publicly falling out with his bosses at the FAT. It was hoped that the bizarrely coiffured German would be around for a long time and lead the club to AFC success. However, after only a few days in the job, he decided to do a moonlight flit to Jamaica. His tenure at Muang Thong was so short, they didn't even have the time to draw up a proper contract. The one on display in the museum is written on a napkin from localhostelry, Winnie A Go Go. How appropiate.

8. Kawin Thamsatchanan's Manchester United Rejection Letter
Thailand's premier stopper and the World's Most Adoring Son Kawin Thamsatchanan was once considered (by some) to be good enough to play in the English Premier League. And not just for any old team but for the reigning champions, Manchester United. Sadly for all at Muang Thong, Sir Alex didn't seem to rate the Bangkok native and the youngster never had the opportunity to ply his trade at Old Trafford. However, the wily old Scot (or someone who works in the Personnel  Dept) did send him a nice letter telling him to "keep on working hard in training". 

9. Teerasil Dangda's Atletico Madrid Shirt
Teerasil is another Muang Thong Utd player who has been touted as good enough to play in Europe. After spells at Manchester City and Grasshoppers Zurich, the talented striker has made a name for himself as one of the TPL's better homegrown talents. This - along with Muang Thong Utd's partnership deal - lead him to be offered a trial at Atletico Madrid in January this year. During the two weeks he was in Spain, he didn't even get a glimpse of a first team training session but was lucky enough to be given a 15% discount in the club shop. He has donated the cut price shirt that he bought with his voucher, to the museum.