Chonburi FC’s new cheer squad will make its debut at Sunday’s match against Nakhon Ratchasima. The 120 strong troupe called Donner Schloss (it is felt that a Germanic sounding name is more aggressive) is the brainchild of MrsUdomsil Kunpluem, wife of the club chairman, who will act as main cheerleader.
At the official launch earlier today, the First Lady of the province said, “Up until recently, I have kept in the background while my husband has followed his dreams but now I feel the time is right to step out of the shadows. I think it is important that a woman should stand by her man to help him become successful. In addition, the team is currently struggling so we hope this will give them some more encouragement to do better.”
The carefully hand picked fans have been allocated the entire centre section of the Swimming Pool Stand, where they will lead the singing and dancing for the rest of the stadium. The club spent the recent break erecting a platform in front of the stand so that the leaders can run up and down encouraging supporters to get behind their team. A track – similar to the ones used by the hares at greyhound racing – has also been installed around the perimeter of the pitch so that two fans with megaphones can be transported quickly in a small truck (at very little cost) to all parts of the ground, in order to whip fans into a frenzy when they sense there is a lull in the noise levels.
Members of the cheer squad were specially chosen due to their complete lack of football knowledge. Mrs Kumpluem explained, “We didn’t want anyone who knows anything about the game because they could easily become distracted by what is happening on the pitch. However, if they are truly ignorant of the rules, it is much easier for us to keep them focused on the job in hand.” (This is also believed to be the same way in which TPL referees are selected – ed)
The vast majority of “Schlossers” are female. This again is a deliberate move by the organisers, as it has been scientifically proven that the higher pitched screaming that emanates from the fairer sex is more conducive to creating a winning mentality amongst the players and has a debilitating effect on opponents. All of them have been issued with replica shirts, flags and a list of insults which they must memorise so they can spontaneously hurl them at visiting players and officials during the matches.
It is also understood that a rival cheer group will put in its first appearance at the weekend. The Last of the Summer Whiners is made up of five middle aged ex-pat Englishmen and is based in the upper tier of the main stand. They plan to use rolled up newspapers as megaphones in an attempt to encourage all those around them to whinge and moan for the whole ninety minutes and explain how much tougher football used to be “back in the good old days, before any of this poncing around you get nowadays started”.
We would like to take this opportunity to wish both groups all the best in their new ventures.
For further information on the Donner Schloss, please contact Khun Ngo Maehsaayohn via the club’s official website. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment