"A Big Surprise" - 2013

Prior to the home match against Samut Songkhram on 27th October, 2013, the club announced there would be "A Big Surprise" for fans attending the game. What could it be? we wondered. Here were my thoughts at the time:

Our new coach is Nigel Clough.

We have signed Miroslav Klose, Yasuhito Endo and Ian Walker, all on three year contracts.

Food and drinks are to be allowed inside the stadium.

Fans will now have to remove their shoes before entering the stadium.

Sunday’s match has been switched to the swimming pool next door in order to give the visitors a fighting chance.

We are merging with Buriram Utd.

Worawi Makudi will be put in stocks on the car park and we’ll all get the chance to pelt him with cherry tomatoes and popcorn.

We’ve donated seven of our points to Pattaya Utd so they don’t go down.

Heng has been persuaded to stay on as head coach and has signed a five year contract.

Kazuto Kushida (Pictured) will be our new player-coach.

We are moving back to Princess Srindhorn Stadium in SriRacha.

There’s 15% off all food in the Sharks Cafe.

Next year’s season tickets are on special offer – one for the price of two.

We are releasing a new range of leisurewear.

The team is splitting up due to “musical differences”.

The head groundsman has bought a new fork.

We’re going to stop pratting about with nonsense marketing ploys and actually try to build a team to challenge for the league title.

We have withdrawn from the league and from now on we will only play friendlies.

We are allowed to count  the results from our friendlies as part of our league record, therefore, we are champions!

It’s Simon Le Bon’s birthday and we’re having a party in his honour.