FAT Busters: Let's Impose Martial Law On Thai Football by Matt Riley: 2014

FAT Busters: Let's Impose Martial Law On Thai Football

by Matt Riley

21st May, 2014

As we wake up to another depressing turn of the tortuous Thai political wheel under martial law, denials of a coup, ruled by a government without a leader and the Thai economy shrinking by an alarming 2.1% in the first quarter of this year, maybe it's time to stop complaining about the madness and embrace it in Thai football. 

 

For years, the ineptitude at the FAT elicited dark humour and shoulder shrugging, but what if we took a leaf from the book of Thai politics and stormed the football Bastille? Robert Procureur's recent outburst could start the le ballon rolling (and he would be the most qualified for guillotine duties.) There is a reservoir of rejected expertise that wants to develop the Thai game which, tapped into, would flood the dark recesses of our beautiful game with light and pulse with a creative energy that would be highly attractive to globally minded partners.

 

The first stage of the process is to get the biter bit. Tie the FAT up in huge swathes of legal red tape. With every dubious decision, file a complaint directly at its head and lodge the case in Norway. The sixteen thousand kilometre round trip for every minor legal update should cool the heels of the FAT head while we get on with running our game. Instead of the highly divisive two football associations in Indonesia, we should empower the legion of inmates against the wardens  of Thai football's madhouse. 

They currently feel disenfranchised and powerless, knowing that if they showed their heads above the parapet there would be more than a football rolling sadly down the road. When the FAT plant their compliant officials in games, the men in black  are invited into the VIP box to watch the game whilst other impartial and untainted officials lead the line. When fines are collected, we use them to finance grass root initiatives and support the women's game that is now within one game of qualifying for the World Cup in Canada thanks to very little FAT support.

 

 Instead of being seen as the People's Democratic Republic of Football, we should engage in dialogue with the AFC. FIFA are mired in cronyism and infighting as Blatter sharpens his knives for Platini over the Qatar farce, but our local governors are far more rigorous and open minded. They have to be, because they oversee a group of countries fighting for worldwide recognition and too often seen as a backwater and sunny clime for players to retire in. 

By implementing their key initiatives like Actual Playing Time, having strong Thai representation on their Ethics Committee and opening our football finances to root and branch assessment, Thai football can show how much it has to offer the region. If the game here can go from stronger to the J and K Leagues to vastly inferior in one decade, imagine how quickly it could go the other way with professional stewardship? The game here has so much to offer with (generally) well behaved and passionate fans, highly skilled players and rapidly improving stadia.

 

Our income will come from international sponsors. Recently, Citibank were prepared to underwrite a proposed academy league before this idea, orchestrated by former AIA CEO Ron van Oijen, was firmly rejected. Giving young players meaningful competition in a professionally run league was greeted with a mixture of bemusement and fear by the FAT, especially as eight major TPL teams had already signed up to the scheme. Quite rightly Ron, a man who previously managed a company of forty thousand staff, saw the pointlessness of begging for their support and the plan is shelved. There are plenty of other global brands happy to enter the dynamic and lucrative market place of Thai football without needing the strings of political largesse and favour trading. 

The Thai football market is strong enough for major companies to enter it on economic grounds. AIA drastically down scaled their sponsorship not because they failed to increase market share, but partly due to the non competitive practices of politicians using clubs as electioneering vehicles. Business partnerships with foreign clubs also have a great deal of merit. Most agreements are fluffily worded love notes from a star struck Thai club to foreign giants pleading with them to be gentle, but the model of J League team's Yokohama F Marinos shows an open and refreshingly honest approach. The Japanese giants want the following from their partners Suphanburi FC as set out in their Memorandum of Understanding signed last July:

 

"To provide opportunities for each other to meet sponsors of the partner side. To support each other in the commercial exploitation rights (introduction of sponsors in the partner country.)"

 

The War Elephant may be sharing the bed with two other clubs, but everyone, is clear about the situation and gets what they want. For Yokohama it was access to Truevisions via the Thai club President Varwut Silpa - archa. In return they will bring the President of the national Japanese broadcasters NHK over next week for some highly publicised flesh pressing and have tangible results to work on. For SCG Muang Thong United's "strategic partnership" with Athletico Madrid signed four years ago, their bed is extremely crowded with seven other clubs vying for the attention of the Spanish Champions: their meaningful connections would take a highly capable forensic scientist years to locate.

 

So, instead of the reverse alchemy currently transforming potential ASEAN  television gold into sawdust, a small group of brave souls can scale FAT tower, plant a fan flag above the penthouse conference room and dodge the ensuing bullets. Led by our spiritual leader Captain Kirk, his Star Trek Spectre of the Gun episode will be boldly emblazoned on our flag as we scamper back down to safety:

 

"I don't think we're going to have any choice. ... I know the bullets are unreal, therefore they cannot harm me."