15th July, 2015
Today's opponents come in for a lot of stick from fans of other clubs for their tatty ground, poor support and even their "boring" kit. Personally, I don't mind ToT. They are a traditional club who battle hard against all the odds. Therefore, I have decided to offer up a few ideas in order to help improve their public image. Please read on...
Change their name
They could take a leaf out of The New Saints’ book here. The Welsh Premier League club changed its name from Total Network Solutions in 2006 but retained the original initials, TNS. ToT is full of possibilities. So, how about...
Tribes of Thor
Team of Titans
Tigers of Thailand
Towers of Thunder
Tub of Thrills
Move to another city
Nakorn Ratchasima would seem the obvious choice here. The local TPL club clearly has a surplus of fans so a move there would enable those who can’t quite squeeze into the 80th Birthday Stadium the opportunity to watch some top flight football, without the fear of getting squashed.
Make a marquee signing
They've missed out on Raheem Sterling but Robbie Fowler would be a good choice. He’s played in Thailand before, is familiar with the culture and is currently in the kingdom with Liverpool. If they act quickly enough they could nab him this week - getting him to sign on on the tarmac at Suvarnabhumi would be a marketing man's dream. Maybe he could also be persuaded to ask his mates Macca and Didi to join him.
Bring back the band
We all loved the ToT band. More often than not, their playing was far more entertaining than what was happening on the pitch. Bring them back and offer free admission to anyone who brings an instrument to the stadium. Let's raise the roof!
Sex up the kit
I’ve seen the current kit described as “boring”. Therefore, they need to ditch it. How about dressing up the players in the style of their coach? Somchai Subpherm has a style all of his own; part maverick cop, part western gunslinger, part Ramones. How cool would that look be on a football team!
Get a new mascot
The current mascot is a rather weedy looking cartoon telephone engineer, who looks like he'd burst into tears at the drop of a hat (or safety helmet). They need to change this to something more intimidating. How about the character pictured above right? That would scare the living daylights out of any opponents, especially at night matches!
Move to Pluto
The dwarf planet is getting a lot of worldwide attention right now. Moving there would certainly raise their profile. And it has a better atmosphere than the ToT Stadium. Boom! Boom!
Ask Danny Baker to be their honourary president
The Radio 5 presenter has developed quite a liking for the club - who he refers to as Tot - and often mentions them on his Saturday morning show. Getting the former NME man on board would be a great coup. They could also become the partner club of his favourite team Millwall - no-one likes them either.
Improve their internet service
Nuff said!
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