If Thai Port were a movie, which movie would they be and why?
Marco Turner - 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly'. Our fans have seen plenty of good, bad and ugly moments over the last few years. There's never a dull moment at PAT Stadium!
Peter Hockley - Was hoping it would be 'The Great Escape' (for obvious reasons) but now after the besieging of the referee and protests against the owners, maybe 'Port Noise Complaint'.
Which three members of the Thai Port staff would you invite to a dinner party and why?
MT - I quite like Korean food, so Ri Myong Jun (North Korean), Whoo Hyun and Kim Ba-We (South Korean) would all be invited. I'm sure they all get on well, but I could act as the Kofi Annan UN peace keeping figure if discussions get too heated.
PH - Whoo Hyun, Sivakor and Steven Robb - the former two were our best players of the season and Robbo, because, well he's Robbo.
Which song best sums up your season?
MT - Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10) by Half Man Half Biscuit (from the album: Back Again in the DHSS).
PH - 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'
Have you ever had a Thai Port related dream?
MT - Not that I can think of. They've given me a few sleepless nights though!
PH - Yes, there was a nuclear holocaust and the only six survivors were me and the Thai Port cheerleaders.
Thai Port seem to take the "Lucky Kit" superstition very seriously, which do you think is your luckiest kit?
MT - I think the black kit is the 'luckiest'. We won 3 out of 4 games in all black and just 8 out of 34 in the other two strips.
PH - Not sure, don't think we've won enough games in any of them to judge. Black seems to be the favoured 'lucky strip'. The green referee's kit would have been useful on occasions.
How safe are the temporary floodlights?
PH - How safe is it crossing Sukhumvit road at rush hour?
If you were in a hot air balloon with the entire Thai Port squad and you had to throw one person out in order to stay airborne - who would it be and why ?
MT - The manager would definitely be out first. If one of the players had to go, though, it'd be Siwakorn Chakuprasat. He's rather weedy, so he'd probably float to the ground like a leaf on the breeze. No harm done!
PH - Worakorn, the coach, because he's clueless. Failing that, Ittiphol - 16 yellow cards and 1 red would see anybody rejected.
Which fictional footballer would you like to see play for Thai Port and why?
MT - We've failed to score in 17 of our 38 games this season, so I'd choose either Hotshot Hamish or Melchester Rovers legend Roy Race to solve our goalscoring problems. We could do with Roy's teammate Charlie 'the cat' Carter between the sticks, too.
PH - Billy the Fish (from Viz) - better back flips than Munze and we could always eat him in a nice garlic and pepper sauce if things didn't turn out.
If you broke into the PAT Stadium which one item would you steal and why?
MT - I've been in the ground on my own. The only thing worth nicking is the Port Authority of Thailand badge stuck on the main stand. I would take the groundskeeping equipment, but judging by the state of the pitch, someone's already done that!
PH - The scoreboard. It's been a source of huge disappointment all season.
Please sum up your season in five words.
MT - Underwhelming, to say the least!
PH - Companionable, passionate, frustrating, disappointing, optimistic.
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