The List 2016: Thirty Things I Must Do This Season
However, in the modern age, there are so many more distractions at the stadium (especially in Thailand, with its burgeoning domestic football scene). The whole match going experience has changed. It has become an "event" and the fans are photographed and filmed as much as - if not more than - the action taking place on the pitch. Grounds are surrounded by a riot of colour and noise (as opposed to just a riot - commonplace in the 70s and 80s) and a festival like atmosphere prevails. It's not always been to my taste.
Now, with a new season just around the corner, I've finally decided to embrace this new fan culture but attempt to marry it up to things for which I have a nostalgic yearning. Therefore, I have produced a list of thirty things that I will endeavour to do this year. Some are retro and will fill me with a nice warm glow, and others are contemporary, stuff that I've never felt the urge to do before but am now willing to try.
Failed To Do
Buy a ticket from a tout
Cycle to a home match
Build a scale model of Chonburi Stadium
Write and record a Chonburi FC tribute song
Produce an old skool photocopied Chonburi fanzine
Record & release a podcast
Watch a league match that doesn't involve Chonburi
Take someone who doesn't like football to a match
Hand out flowers to Newin Chidchob's personal security guards
Take a photo of all my Thai football programmes and post it on Twitter and Facebook
DONE
20. Create some Chonburi FC graffiti
Achieved 9/10/16
On a recent trip to Malaysia, I found myself in the George Town area of Penang. After trawling the backpacker bars - where I met and chatted to a local lad wearing a Penang FA shirt - me and my companions eventually settled in Micke's Place, on the delightfully named Love Lane. It was a particularly prepossessing venue and had the added appeal of live music - a duo playing mainly Beatles songs.
Now, those of you who have been lucky enough to have visited this region, will be aware that graffiti (Street art!) is encouraged and what a colourful spectacle it creates. Therefore, when I was presented with a permanent marker and a relatively clean wall, I just couldn't resist. The results can be seen in the accompanying photo - some corner of a foreign field that is forever Chonburi FC. Until it gets painted over.
19. "Acquire" something from an away ground
Achieved Classified
Anyhoo, I acquired this little beauty from a ground I visited this season. I'm expecting a knock on the door from the Old Bill any day now.
18. Get "dressed up" to go to a match
Achieved 21/9/16
What could be a better occasion than an FA Cup quarter final tie at the imposing Rajamangala Stadium to get dressed up for? The semi final or final perhaps? But there was no guarantee that we'd get through, so I thought I'd seize the opportunity to cross item number 18 off the List, at the recent fixture against Muang Thong Utd. Thankfully, I was also able to convince my two good friends, Tim and Clarence, to join me in the festivities.
My own outfit was a throwback to the late 70's ska and Two Tone period. White Fred Perry t-shirt, black trousers, braces, boots and, to top it off, a pork pie hat. This was also my tribute to Prince Buster, the legendary Jamaican singer-songwriter who sadly died recently, and our very own Prince "Net" Buster - Mr Amponsah. Simple, but effective and I thought I looked quite smart.
However, there's no doubting that I was completely upstaged by my companions on the night. Wearing two tone blue (instead of the customary black and white) giant top hats, dressed in shirt and tie and carrying umbrellas like walking canes, they looked every inch the Victorian toffs. They looked hilarious. And what a stir they caused!
I walked a few paces behind them, as we made our way from the car to the turnstiles and thoroughly enjoyed seeing everyone's reaction as we passed. They were also filmed and photographed by dozens of curious locals and even made it on to the official Chonburi FC Facebook page (an honour of sorts). I doff my (rather inadequate pork pie) hat to you both. Bravo, chaps!
17. Watch a match from the Swimming Pool Stand
Achieved 13/8/16
Like most football fans, I am a creature of habit when it comes to going to the match. My pre-game ritual is strictly observed: arrive at the usual time, park in the same space, buy beers from the same vendor, meet with my mates in the same place, enter the ground - after a visit to the toilet - at the same time and sit in the same seat. Simple. So this was going to be a huge challenge for me.
The first big difference on this special day, was my match going companion - my wife. She used to be a regular, but has been put off by the no drinks & no food rule, plus most of her friends have also stopped attending. However, today she was going to use my season ticket.
On arrival (at the right time), I parked where I normally park, but instead of heading to the regular meeting spot, we went for a nice meal at one of the numerous upmarket restaurants that are near to the stadium. A bit fancier than the sausage on a stick I have most weeks and - truth be told - a lot tastier.
After having our appetites sated, there was just enough time to wander over to the traditional meeting place - some habits are hard to break - and have a quick chat with my mate Brian. We then bid our fond farewells and I headed to the unfamiliar territory of the imaginatively named "Swimming Pool Stand" (there's a swimming pool behind it!).
It did feel strange entering the ground through a different entrance (and getting a red stamp on my arm instead of a blue one), but I was also quite excited. I found my seat - right on the front row - and settled down to watch the football.
Even though I did keep casting glances over at my usual vantage point - I could see my wife and my friends - I actually enjoyed the experience of watching from a different angle. I had a good view, the people around me were friendly (although the Thai Vera Duckworth sitting a few rows behind me got on my nerves a bit) and it was cooler, with a lovely late evening breeze blowing though.
There's no doubt that the atmosphere was slightly different over on the "other side" - and I missed the usual banter, wit and wisdom of my regular companions - but they do say that a change is as good as a rest. And, after my experiencs on Saturday, I can say that "they" are right.
Would I do it again? We'll just have to wait and see.
16. Travel to a match by train
Achieved 20/7/16
I've said it before and I'll say it again...I love trains! If it were possible, I'd travel to every match by rail - as I used to do when following Oldham Athletic around in England in the late 70s and 80s. However, the timetable here makes that quite difficult.
Therefore, after a quick check of the fixture list, I realised that the home match against Nakhon Ratchasima was the last chance I would get (FA Cup draw aside - but I didn't want to take the risk!) to go by train.
I caught a motorbike taxi from my house to the station - about a two minute ride - and acquired my ticket - B5! I'd given myself plenty of time, so I was able to sit on the neatly manicured station and watch the world go by as I waited for the train to arrive.
The train itself was quite busy - it was a public holiday - but I managed to find a seat (facing forwards) and settled back to enjoy the journey. There's not really much to report about the ride itself, but it was a very pleasant way to spend half an hour on a Wednesday afternoon.
On arrival at Chonburi, I dismounted and asked one of the railway employees to take the accompanying photo - next to his freshly painted sign. I then walked the 500 metres or so to the main highway, in the hope of getting some form of public transport to my ultimate destination - the ground. Within a couple of minutes a motorbike taxi approached and I flagged him down. Ten minutes later I was at the stadium - a full three hours before kick off!
Thanks to Tim and Nui for their efforts in getting me home afterwards!
15. Buy a rival team's shirt
Achieved 13/7/16
As I approached, I must admit, I didn't hold out much hope that they'd have anything in my size, but the young lady who served me found something straight away, amongst the piles of shirts, t-shirts, scarves and headbands. I gladly handed over my B300 and whistled a happy tune as I headed to my seat in the stand, proudly clutching my new purchase, a reminder of a much simpler time. You can stick your club superstores!
14. Have my photo taken with an opposition coach
Achieved 9/7/16
Now, while I'm not quite in his league, I do have something of an obsessive interest in Thai football club coaches - check out any of my photo galleries, if you don't believe me - and this particular one is my favourite. It's lovely retro style is extremely appealing, so when the opportunity to have my photo taken with it presented itself at the recent league meeting, I jumped at the chance.
Sadly, I didn't get to go onboard (maybe that can be included on next season's List), but the attached photo was taken by the driver. Something my old school friend would no doubt approve of. Now I just need to nail the sound of it reversing...
13. Join in with the half time fan club scarf exchange
Achieved 3/7/16
A dozen of us left the rain lashed terraces as soon as the half time whistle blew and made our way through the puddles and the mud to the relative sanctuary of the players tunnel. And there we waited, and waited, and waited for our home team counterparts to arrive.
Sadly - and in spite of constant reassurances that "they're on their way" - they never showed up (pretty poor from the Sukhothai fans). Undeterred, we posed for the above photograph (ably taken by my good lady wife) before handing over the scarf to one of the stadium security guards and trudging back to the stands.
On a happier note, as we stood in the tunnel, I did get the chance to peep into the away team dressing room, meet John Baggio and say "sawasdee krup" to the ref and linesmen. So it wasn't a complete waste of time!
12. Go to an away match on my own
Achieved 25/6/16
Thankfully, I remembered to turn left, instead of right, when I needed to and was soon at the cafe, where I had arranged to meet some locally based Chonburi fans. Here we enjoyed a flavoursome pre match meal of fish, chips, mushy peas and a mug of tea. Lovely. And just the thing to get us in the mood for the match.
After our food, we made our way to the ground in convoy and settled in at our usual little spot - when visiting these parts - for a couple of cold beers and a chat. A proper, old fashioned Saturday at the football. We even won! Which made the Peel accompanied solitary drive home just that little bit sweeter.
11. Eat a Wagon Wheel at a match
Achieved 14/5/16
Thanks to my mum and dad and their annual food parcel from the old country, I was able to cross another snack related item off The List, before the recent home game against Bangkok Glass. However, this time I chose to eat my wares outside the stadium. Although, I could've smuggled it inside...if I'd wanted to!
To many of my generation, Wagon Wheels - along with Bovril - are synonymous with football matches. Indeed, the only other place I can remember being able to buy them was at primary school, when the dinner ladies used to bring out a big cardboard box full of toffees, crisps and other treats to sell at playtimes. So the taste of chocolate, marshmallow and biscuit ("a legendary experience" - according to the packet) brought back a whole host of childhood memories - and inspired a craving for Jammie Dodgers - but, surely they used to be bigger than this? Didn't they?
10. Smuggle some food into Chonburi Stadium
Achieved 7/5/16
Regular visitors to this site and/or anyone who follows me on Twitter, will be well aware of my feelings towards our club's ridiculous stance on banning food and drink inside the stadium. Therefore, the treacherous act of smuggling four cheese sandwiches and a satsuma into the ground for the recent home game against BEC Tero, gave me more pleasure than it probably should have done - as a 52 year old man with a mortgage and a responsible job. But...it was such a sweet victory.
I even managed to consume the whole lot without being rumbled by the highly trained and vigilant 15 year old girls, who we employ as security guards. Take that! Talk about sticking it to the Man! And now I know the secret of getting things past the stringent checks at the turnstiles, you can guarantee I'll be eating a lot more grub whilst enjoying the football between now and whenever the season ends. Time to loosen the belt.
9. Use a megaphone at a match
Achieved 1/5/16
I thought I might have problems getting a megaphone in to the ground, but no-one batted an eyelid. Then I remembered I wasn't at Chonburi, where everything bar the clothes you are wearing, is considered a threat to the safety of our ever dwindling band of fans or maybe even to the security of the whole country.
After reconsidering my initial plan of standing at the front - with the drummers and flag bearers - I settled for a seat about a third of the way up the stand. I had quite a good view from here and still felt that I'd be in earshot of the players, especially when they came to take a corner.
I must admit, I only used the megaphone on a couple of occasions, as we went in search of an equaliser towards the end of the game - and when a Muang Thong forward took a throw in directly in front of me (I now know how Mrs Chidchob feels. What power I had!).
However, my crowning glory was getting a laugh from the away fans when I employed the "siren" feature as the home physios ran on to treat a stricken player. I'm hoping this will catch on. It might shame them into stopping all the play acting.
8. Write an account of an overnight stay for an away match
Achieved 11/4/16
I wrote an account of my three day trip to Samut Sakhon - and the surrounding area - for our recent League Cup tie. I enjoyed my short stint as a travel blogger so much, I might even consider doing more. In the meantime, you can read my first attempt HERE
7. Have my photo taken on the pitch
Achieved 9/4/16
As we were leaving the Samut Sakhon Central Sports Stadium, following our League Cup win, I spotted some local children having a kick about on the pitch. I asked if I could join them. They were only too happy to let me go in goal.
So, for the next ten minutes or so, I tried to stop their shots, as they rained in from various angles and with varying degrees of power. I must admit, I found it easier reaching the high ones, but struggled to get down to the low efforts. And they soon sussed this out! Anything aimed in the direction of the bottom corners usually resulted in a goal.
Even so, I thoroughly enjoyed my inpromptu kick about and would have played for longer, but my wife was keen to get away to find something to eat. Thanks, kids. You made an old man very happy.
6. Wear a blue wig at the match
Achieved 9/4/16
On arrival at the Samut Sakhon Stadium for last Saturday's League Cup tie, I was greeted by my mates Tim and Claire. Not only had they saved me a seat (in an already crowded away end) and bought me a beer, but they had also brought me a present. What great friends! As Tim handed me the plastic bag, I was trembling with excitement and antici...pation. What could it be? My mind raced through the possibilities. Well, actually, it didn't. I knew exactly what was inside. The big clue coming from the fact that my aforementioned buddy was already wearing his!
Moments later I had spared him the dubious honour of being the most ridiculous looking man in the stand by donning my own synthetic, curly, blue hair piece. And there we sat, for the next ninety minutes, like two washed up members of the ELO. And boy was it hot! And itchy! And silly!
However, it was worth all the discomfort - and embarrassment - as the "rugs" did the trick and saw us through to a comfortable 4-1 victory. Unfortunately, this means that they have been officially declared as "lucky mascots" and we are now obliged to wear them at every cup tie...all the way to the final!
5. Have the name of this season's first TPL goalscorer printed on the back of my replica shirt
Achieved 2/4/16
There was always an element of risk about this one. What if it was someone I'm not that keen on? Or someone who's likely to leave in a couple of months time? Even now, there's some debate as to whether the goal was Nurul's or an own goal by the Pattaya Utd keeper. Thankfully, the Thai Dubious Goals Committee came down on the side of our diminutive striker (who I'm quite fond of), although wearing a Chonburi shirt with the name of an opposition player on it would have been funnier.
The shirt itself cost just over B1,000 (less my B200 season ticket holder discount), which is ridiculously expensive. I think B500 is far more reasonable and affordable for most fans. I'm not really a big fan of Nike - it's hard to see what they've actually brought to the table at Chonburi (other than expensive sportswear). Surely they should be doing more? However, that's a story for another day.
4. Watch a match at Sharkies Cafe, The Bazaar or Central
Achieved 30/3/16
With the Bazaar seemingly moribund and Central unreliable as to whether or not they'll be showing the match, Tim, Brian and me plumped for Sharkies as our venue of choice to watch the Chainat game. In the old days, we were regular visitors here, when we couldn't actually make it to the stadium. But, in recent years we have tended to stay away, preferring to watch the far flung or inaccessible fixtures in the comfort of our own homes.
However, last Wednesday night was a reminder of why we used to enjoy it so much in the first place; good food, cold beer - both reasonably priced - good company, and a decent atmosphere - created by the thirty or so Chonburi fans who had also gathered for the occasion. We even made some new friends (see photo). The fact that we won (comfortably) obviously added to the enjoyment, but the whole experience was a very pleasant treat. Made even more so by one generous soul picking up the tab. Thanks, Tim!
I think we'll definitely be watching a few more matches at this venue over the course of the season.
3. Buy something tacky from the club shop
Achieved 13/3/16
I bought this little fella for B79 after Sunday night's match. Bizarrely, it doesn't even feature the club's name, instead it has that ridiculous slogan "Reboot" - what does that even mean? – plastered across it.
Generally, I am a fan of pennants. When I was young, they were one of the only types of football souvenirs you could buy and I still have a few Oldham Athletic ones from the late 60s and early 70s, which I cherish. I’ve also got a collection of Chonburi ones from the early years. However, this “item’ isn’t really worthy of the name and I get the idea that not much thought has gone into its production; "Yep. That'll do".
I haven't yet decided where I'm going to hang it, but I am open to suggestions (please send to the usual address). It has one of those sucker thingies attached but I’m beggared if I’m sticking it on any of my car windows. I’ll probably just end up giving it away to one of our younger fans at the next home game.
2. Have my photo taken with some opposition fans
Achieved 9/3/16
I bumped into these chaps - and a few of their identically dressed mates - whilst I was queueing for a pre match beer. They had just got off the coach and had clearly enjoyed themselves on the way over from Suphanburi. En route from the transport to the stadium, they were applauded by the Chonburi fans they met and welcomed by the old bloke who stands at the entrance to the car park.
I managed to grab the two lads in the photo just before they took up their places in the away end. Unfortunately, the rest of the group had already gone inside. Thanks to them and also the young lady who took the photo.
1. Wear a pair of Chonburi shorts to a match
Achieved 6/3/16
Replica shirts. Pah! I’ve never been fond of wearing them – other than when playing myself. However, there’s no doubt that they are the de rigueur item for every Tom, Dick and Somchai who goes to a Thai league match. Funny how you hardly ever see anyone wearing replica shorts, especially in this climate. Although the absence of pockets is a bit of a pain.
Therefore, I’m hoping the first item on this year’s List will start a trend. Here I am at Sunday’s match, in my Chonburi shorts (circa 2006). Oh, how I miss that old badge, with its fierce looking shark. It’s just so much better than the current one – which looks like it’s been squeezed out of a toothpaste tube.
One down. Twenty nine to go.
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