Ban It! by Paul Hewitt: 2011

In November, 2011, we ran a poll asking what you would most like to see banned from Thai football. The results were as follows :

Walk offs 41%
Players feigning injury 28%
Presidents/Chairmen sitting on the bench 18%
The "Huddle" 10%
Megaphones and dancing platforms 3%

Columnist, Paul Hewitt used the findings as the basis for his monthly contribution to the Big Chilli magazine.

Here is his article

BAN IT!
by Paul Hewitt

A recent survey on the English-language Chonburi FC website asked which five things fans would most like to see banned from Thai football. In fifth place came ‘Megaphones and Dancing Platforms’. It’s common in Thai football for songs and chants to be started at the front of the stand by a megaphone-wielding fan often standing on a specially erected scaffold! To be fair, this is actually standard practice in almost every football playing country of the world except the UK.

In fourth place was ‘The Huddle’. This is where the whole squad links arms and stands in a circle as motivational slogans are shouted. Not too offensive on the surface, but the effectiveness of the huddle has surely been diminished as it is performed, without exception so far as I know, by every single team in Thai football at the start of both halves. Save it only for an epoch, a title-decider or a cup final, and it would retain its power to motivate. But its overuse seems to defeat the point. I’m with the moaners on this one.

Taking the bronze medal is ‘Presidents/Chairmen sitting on the bench’. Imagine the uproar, the outrage, the splenetic fury of media, fans and governing bodies alike if, for example, Roman Abramovich took to sitting on the bench at Chelsea and, just for good measure, he was also in the habit of standing on the touchline berating referee, linesman and fourth official. Unfortunately, club owners, presidents and chairmen are in the habit of doing just that in Thailand and the FAT has done nothing to end this self-important, self-indulgent arrogance.

In second place is ‘Players feigning injury’. A problem throughout world football, but this ‘gamesmanship’ – sorry, let’s use more accurate words: this gutless cheating is given tacit consent in Thailand by weak-willed and embattled referees. Typically, if a team is on course for a result they are satisfied with, particularly an away team, then the players will start dropping like drunks at Songkran. It’s injury feigning at its most transparent and blatant and yet you can guarantee the stretcher will be called on as soon as the player is prostrate. Said player is usually sitting up on the stretcher as he is carried off the pitch and immediately jumps to his feet and jogs round to the fourth official so as to get back on the pitch as soon as possible. Again, silence on the issue is all that emanates from the FAT.

The very worthy winner is ‘Walk Offs’. This is when a team walks off the pitch for a period of time, usually five to ten minutes, as a way of protesting against a refereeing decision they don’t agree with. There’s no need to reread that sentence: your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. As if the mere existence of the walk off wasn’t bad enough, the behaviour actually seems to be on the increase this season. Referees are literally powerless to stop walk offs as an FAT bylaw permits teams to legally leave the pitch for up to fifteen minutes as a way of protesting against a decision! The only time a team actually gets punished for a walk off is if they refuse to come back on, which has happened a couple of times. As with chairman on the bench and injury feigning, walk offs could be banished to the history books overnight by the FAT introducing serious punishments and getting tough with offenders. Don’t hold your breath.