Fund Raising Ideas: 2017

Following a pre season announcement that we had a budget of only B100million for the 2017 campaign, I drew up a list of ideas on how we could improve our financial situation. I e mailed a copy to the club, but sadly received no reply.

1. Sell Kroerkrit. That’s B10million more in the bank, and we’ve offloaded the world’s most overrated player.

2. Install an artificial playing surface. This would cost B5,000,000 (half of what we’d get for Kroerkrit) and would pay for itself in rental fees within 18 months.

3. Sell food and drink INSIDE the stadium, using our own catering service. All the revenue would then go directly to the club, not to some chancer with a motorbike and sidecar and a portable grill and cool box.

4. Sell Kroerkrit.

5. Introduce dual pricing. There aren't that many foreigners that attend Chonburi home games, but every little helps.

6. Have 22 match day mascots (2 per player) and charge them for the privilege.*

7. Sell Kroerkrit.

8. Make Therdsak play every week. This way we can sell one of the other players (Kroerkrit?), thus generating a transfer fee and save on wages.

9. Stage a concert with all Chonburi’s celebrity fans - Sek Loso, Palmy, Rich Man’s Toy, Yaya, and not Japanese porn stars like they did at B*riram U*d - offering their services for free. Clear profit, and a good time will be had by all - providing there's no squabbles over the running order.

10. Sell Kroerkrit.

11. Increase the amount of Kroerkrit merchandise available for sale in the club shops: Mugs, calendars, posters, t-shirts, mouse mats, masks, badges, Kroerkrit Sings cds, etc etc
nb - this will only work if we don’t sell Kroerkrit

12. Offer stadium tours to fans and tourists on non match days.*

13. Sell Kroerkrit.

14. Find a player in the youth academy who is better looking than Kroerkrit and repeat step 11 using his image instead.

15. Organise a sponsored walk. My old secondary school used to do this every time they needed to raise money.

16. Organise a Bake Sale. My current school does this every time it needs to raise money.

17. Arrange a glamourous friendly. English Premier League teams are falling over themselves to get a foothold in the Asian market. We probably couldn’t afford to bring M*n U*d, M*n C*ty, Liverpool or Arsenal, but how about Luton Town or Wycombe Wanderers (my mate’s a programme seller here, so I could set up the original contact)? And Glentoran still owe us a visit.

18. Make a Marquee Signing to attract the crowds. OK, the initial outlay would put an even further strain on our already brittle finances, but would pay for itself in the long run - providing the player wasn’t too greedy, too rubbish, injured all the time or Robbie Fowler.

19. Sell Kroerkrit.

20. Sell the club and turn the stadium into a theme park.*

*Dual pricing applies