by Jimmy
The Birth of a Monster: 2011 - 2013
It is 2011 or something like that and I have just moved into Bangkok from being exiled in Minburi, for what was a horrific nearly-a –year as an ICT teacher. Celebrating my newfound freedom and central location, I decided it was time to get fit and make some friends. What better way to do it other than football?
Like all the best relationships, I cannot tell you how it happened. Steve walked into my life, and bought his mates with him. That evening I spent two hours at the Arsenal Soccer School in Prakanong, chasing the ball like a rabid dog, so desperate to be liked and not to be shit. I still remember what I wore that day; I had cheap orange boots on and a matching Hull City shirt. To put that into context, I cannot remember the first time I met my wife, let alone what I was wearing.
Led by a Del Boy style expat character, we progressed quickly as a team. Mostly thanks to the never-ending supply of young, talented African players looking to impress in Thailand, but we did not let that bother us.
We competed briefly in a Thai league, until a 22-man brawl started and I was banned for 10 games for apparently threatening the opposition with the corner flag. I was hiding behind it, and using it as a barrier between their angry fists and my pretty face. However, I like their version better, so let’s go with that. Our big, African striker went to challenge for the ball and the GK, who had been looking for a fight all game, took offence and threw a punch. Cue their whole starting eleven and subs piling in and one, lone player in blue, racing towards the action and completing quite an impressive flying kick into the GK through the crowd. That was Sky.
Sky is an Expat Football legend. A Thai taxi driver that somehow got himself into an expat football team and loves it. He loves everything about it. He is still playing to this day and if anything he’s got better. He’s about 50 an completely crazy,
Around that time, we also competed in the Bangkok Casuals League. The best (only?) Expat league at that time. Competing against teams such as the German All Stars (German twats), Les Gaulois (French twats), Scandinavian Vikings (Scandinavian twats) and Siam Celtic (twats of various nationalities), we took the league by storm and won Division 2 at a canter.
A particular highlight of 2013 was playing at Rajamangala Stadium in front of a bumper crowd of about 12. I cannot remember why we were there, charity probably.
With what was to be a reoccurring theme of my time in Bangkok football, we were a victim of our own success. With success comes pressure, and what once was a nice Saturday afternoon out with the boys, turned into being shouted at a lot and less minutes on the pitch as better and better players were drafted in.
So “fuck this”, I thought, and off I went to seek a new team.
The iPlay Year(s): 2013
‘Years’ is factually incorrect. The worst thing about playing for iPlay was that 90% of their team were too young to drink.
We didn’t stay together long.
Yellow Fever: 2014 - 2018
They were called BKK Academy or something, but no one knew that. They wore yellow; so known as The Yellow Team and they were hammered every week on the pitch, and then hammered off the pitch with a few cold beers as the sun went down. They were perfect. Cue a couple of fun, carefree seasons and then something weird happened. We suddenly got good. We also needed to pay the league fees…
As the local social media whore, I stepped up and spammed every single business in Bangkok with requests for sponsorship. What followed was a few years of league and cup success (two time League 2 champions and Cup Finalists) but also a regular name, kit and sponsorship change as it became harder and harder to fund the 70,000+ THB league fees that the Casual League required. Hooters and The Drunken Leprechaun were the main sponsors during that time.
Along with the success came younger, better players and I found myself getting less playing time.
While the team’s success grew, the social atmosphere diminished, and at 34 and the start of the new season, I had had enough and decided to flirt with the Veterans League.
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